you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Houston, we have a blender
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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