I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
