3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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