I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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