i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
