i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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