We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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