If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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