Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize