I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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