im drinking this country out of the recession.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I puked a lego.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
