Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize