if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
