My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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