So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
