I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
