Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
