my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
