i don't plan on having that self control this summer
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
