I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
