I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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