You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
