Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
