Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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