In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
