If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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