I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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