Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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