Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
