I just made out with a guy for $7.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
