we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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