three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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