So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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