Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
