We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
