VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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