Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
