it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
