He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
