you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
