i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
