if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
