Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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