what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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