we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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