Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
