my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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