What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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