So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
