So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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