hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
