what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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