She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize