I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
