Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
this will be a night to untag.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
