your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
