I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
