I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
