What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
