dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
