On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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