I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
