I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just made the most โsingle lifeโ Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
