perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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