I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
