I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
