and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
