Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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