he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize