Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
