Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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