Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
