how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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