Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
