watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
