It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
