Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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